• "I wish they taught shopping in school." -Malibu Stacey
• "Believe me Marge,I would change the law if I could." -Bill Cinton
• "Why do I always shout first? It just gives them the chance to get away. Oh,well,I'm an idiot." -Jail Guard
• "Smithers! There's a rocket in my pocket." -Mr. Burns
• "CRAP ON A CRUTCH!!!" -Homer Simpson
• "Not one of you are fit to guard a Russian rock band."-The bodyguard instructer
• "Oh God- can't this town go one day with out a riot?!"-Mayor Quimby
• "This is one small step to firing your ass!"-Neil Armstong
• "SILENCE!! You're talking to loud." -Sideshow Mel
• "To alcohol: the cause of, and solution to all of lifes problems." -Homer Simpson
• "And remember: baby turtles and aligators may seem like a cute pet,but they grow up." -Rex Banner
• "See boy, the real money is in bootlegging, not your childish vandalism." -Homer Simpson
• "I have misplaced my pants." -Homer Simpson
• "I don't like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing there are too many fat children." -Mr. Burns
• "You have 30 minutes to move your car. You have 10 minutes to move your car. You're car is now being impounded. Your car is now being crushed into a cube. You have 30 mintues to move your cube." -Homer Simpson
• "And then Wayland lurked out of the shadows, drunk as a lemur and shot me!" -Mr. Burns
• "Listen you robots! Nobody ruins my family's vactaion but me! or maybe the boy!" -Homer Simpson
• "Woah, this is some party we've got going here, if it gets an livelier a funeral is going to break out." -Larry Burns
• "I'm impressed you were able to write so legibly on your own butt." -Lisa Simpson
• "Bullfrogs? Thats an odd name! I'da named them chazwazzers." -Australian Storekeeper
• "Hehehehe. Look at this country: U-R-gay.Hehehehe." -Homer Simpson
• "Hey, I think I hear a dingo eating your baby." -Bart Simpson
• "Just in case you hear any wild rumors going around I'm being endited for fraud in Australia." -Bart Simpson
• "McBain to base.Being attacked by Commie-Nazis." -McBain

Previous quotes.

• "Could you open the window? The police have daddy's fingerprints on file." -Homer
• "Feelin' stupid?!? I am." -Homer Simpson
• "I've appeared in over 8,000 visions, and thats the lamest excuse I have ever heard." -St. Donickous
• "Hello chief, let's talk, why not?." -Mr.Sparkle representative
• "Did you know that these so called "volunteers" don't even get paid?" -Homer Simpson
• "I think I'm coveting my own wife." -Ned Flanders
• "Uh, isn't that illegal?" -Chief Wiggum
• "And now, without further Apu." -Moe Syzlak
• "Hello, my name is Moe. Or as the ladies call me "Hey you behind the bushes."" -Moe Syzlak
• "I'm quiting show buisness, I just wanted to leave with a little class, you jack ass!" -Krusty the Klown
• "You, Sir, are an idiot." -Krusty the Klown
• "Quoth the raven: "What a shine."" -Troy McClure
• "I've done everything the bible says. Even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff." -Ned Flanders
• " Somebody needs to learn your green ass some responsibilty!" -Jerry Springer guest
• " I think we can do without the crackpipe" -Fox censor
• " I am so ****ing embaressed." -Marge
• "Good job, Homer, when you come home you'll find a new story on your house." -Mr. Scorpio
• "Let me get this straight: we already behind the class, and we're supposed to catch up to them by going slower than them?" -Bart
• "Hey fatty I've gotta movie for ya: A Fridge to Far" -Guy
• "I wash myself with a rag on a stick." -Bart
• "I've always been an obese man trapped in a fat man's body." -Homer
• "Nobody likes Milhouse!" -Mr.Largo
• "Mr.Smartinhiemer." -Principal Skinner
• "I hope this evening finds you well."-Lenny
• "Oh, it's a donkey."-Unknown
• "Here comes 2!"-Grandpa
• "Heh, they only come out at night, except when it's day."-Chief Wiggum
• "If anyone's in here, your here for some serious ass-forkin." -Farmer
• "What is this, some kind of tube?" -Bob Dole
• "To start press any key... there doesn't seem to be any key." -Homer
• "They have the internet on computers now."-Homer
• "You kissed a girl?! That is so gay!" -Jimbo
• "I'm Hugh Jass." -Hugh Jass
• "I've sung you enough songs, i'm not a bloody jukebox."-Chery Bobbins
• "And suddenly the ugliest man in Glscow wasn't good enough for ya." -Groundskeeper Willie.
• "Eternal Darkness, well that's just great." -Lunchlady Doris
• "How come when I heard the word 'school' followed by the word 'exploded' I immediately thought of the word SKINNER!?" -Superintendent Chalmers
• "I dressed my self." -Ralph Wiggum
• "If I wanted smoke blown up my ass, I'd be at home with a pack of cigarettes and a short length tube." -Detective Don Brodka